January 3, 2012

• How I ended up in my socks at my front door at six in the evening today..

  On many a morning, I open my front door to see a spiderweb traversing the walkway, usually a thin strand barely visible save for the sunlight reflecting off of it, which I have to take pains not to walk into as I head for the garage.  Never chancing to come upon the spider, I always wondered why it is that he or she had to make the web in such a high-traffic area, as someone will invariably walk into the web and the spider will have to start all over again.

  Upon coming home today, I exited the garage and turned my attention to the trash cans still by the curb, about to go and tow them back in when I noticed a huge spider in my direct line of sight, just kinda hanging out in the middle of nothing.  "Aahhhh!" I said.  It was already past sunset and the street lights were on.  Unfortunately, due to a glitch having to do with daylight savings time, my porch light was dark.  Nonetheless there was just enough light from the street to make out the spider.

  With nothing but my keys in my hand, I decided to take off my right sneaker and chuck it at the spider.  Phhhhhhhh, flew my blue shoe.  MISS!  (I really shouldn't have missed; it was a really big spider.)  It started climbing up.  No time to lose, I took off my left sneaker as well.  Phhhhhhhhh, flew my left shoe.  Bam!  Yea, the first one was just a practice shot.  I'm pretty sure I got it this time.

  Feeling triumphant, I then had to own up to the completely ridiculous sight I must have been, a person vigorously tossing her shoes onto the front lawn while peak traffic whizzed by.

  
  That's my "baseball" stance.

  At least the spider's gone.  I wonder if I'll see a huge web spelling out "HA HA" when I open the door tomorrow.

  • 10:32 pm
  • 3 Comments